For any of you wives you might want (or need) 5 Reasons to Speak Well of Your Spouse in Public, the following list contains some of the best I’ve ever seen.
When I read the following, “5 reasons to speak well of your spouse in public,” it convicted me on many levels. As a young wife, I did NOT do this well, or often. My tongue was far more critical than encouraging. And my panties were so often “in a wad” about something that speaking well of Zane in public was often the last thing I did.
Fast forward to today. 30+ years of marriage, life lessons, and reciprocal grace behind me. I wish I’d known then what I know now. Speaking well of anyone~especially our spouses~is a good thing. It may not “feel right” every time we do it, but the benefits will always outweigh the risks.
My friend Melody Lovvorn was recently speaking at a women’s event where she shared from Hyatt’s podcast. The response was overwhelming, so I decided to share it on the blog for those who might be interested.
When I first learned of Michael Hyatt’s podcast, â€œFive Reasons to Speak Well of Your Spouse in Public,â€ I had several thoughts enter my mind before I listened to it. I want to be honest with you and share some of them here.
I thought, â€œI love it when my husband affirms me in public because it makes me feel loved, it softens my heart, and it encourages and motivates me as I continue walking toward my husband.â€ But on the flip side, when affirming him in public, I can have one of three responses: â€œI can do that,â€ â€œI think I can do that,â€ or â€œUgh.â€
As I desire to significantly live from a place of vulnerability and wholeheartedness, I am also keenly aware of the risk involved when returning that affirmation to my spouse. We women tend to struggle with relational righteousness because of the relational burden we have endured since the Fall in The Garden of Eden.
Being aware of this, as I move further into my relationship with my husband, I have learned that I cannot change him or fix him. Instead, I allow the disappointments and/or failures to push me toward a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father who then allows me to find more love for my husband.
When I courageously choose to speak well of or affirm my husband, the power of the Holy Spirit is allowed to move and change my heart toward my husband. I am not always â€œin the moodâ€ to love, honor, cherish and affirm my man, but when I surrender to the Father and let Him do in me what does not come naturally, it is truly life changing.
Here are the five reasons to speak well of your spouse. To listen to the podcast or read the full transcript, click here.
- You get more of what you affirm. Most folks, when praised, want to repeat the behavior that caused the affirmation. Likewise, when we complain or are negative, we tend to get more of that behavior. This tends to hold true with both spouses and children; we tend to get the behavior that we focus on and speak about.
- Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse. Most people have an inner drive to align their actions with their words. If we start speaking well of someone, we tend to start believing what we say and relating to him or her accordingly. This can effect great change in both the affirmer and affirmed.
- Affirmation helps strengthen your spouse’s best qualities. Encouragement is one of the most powerful tools we have in our bag as leaders for helping other people become what God intended.
- Affirmation wards off the temptation of adultery. Speaking well of our spouse in public “takes us off the market” and discourages those who might want to disrupt our marriage. When others perceive that we are happily married and hear us speaking well of our spouses, they are less likely to proposition us.
- Affirmation provides a model to those we lead. Others watch closely how we treat and speak of our spouse. If we speak negatively of those closest to us, others might shy away from following our leadership or example. How we speak of our spouse in front of our children can also impacts how they will interact with their own spouses one day.