The Chair and How to Ask the Marriage

In this podcast, my husband Zane explains an 18 month experiment which involved a book, a chair, and “asking the marriage.”

It Started With a Book

Several years ago, my husband Zane randomly purchased Listen to the Marriage: A Novel.  He was looking for a book to read on a long flight, and this one was (for some reason) located in the business section. Intrigued by the book’s title,  cover art, and Harvard educated author, Zane bought a copy. Little did he (or I) know how this book would impact our marriage.

The Concept of the Chair

The book details a therapist’s attempt to counsel a couple in crisis. During her interaction with the couple, the therapist often glances toward an empty chair which represents a fourth party in the room~the Marriage itself.   This personification of the marriage is a thread throughout the story line and the one that Zane expounds upon in the podcast.

Zane: A Chair and a Question

After reading the book, Zane began privately practicing a similar approach to our marriage. He chose a chair that in his quiet time, he would view as “Our Marriage.” In the podcast, he explains how this looked practically.

The Chair: Ask the Marriage

The SavvyCast: Let’s Talk The Chair: Ask the Marriage

I asked Zane to share the concept on my podcast, The SavvyCast, for all those who might want to listen. We also recorded a full video of the podcast for those of you who prefer viewing, it can be found here on You Tube.

The Chair Concept Has Broad Application

Zane points out that “Ask the Marriage” can be used in other areas. “Ask the Team.” “Ask the Firm.” “Ask the Business.” “Ask the Friendship.” The decision by one or more parties in any union to assign the union an “identity” can be a pathway to creating, maintaining or even restoring the integrity of the union.

I hope this concept is helpful to you in some way. As always, feel free to reach out in the comments or through my email or social media. Thanks so much for stopping by. Be blessed, and stay savvy!!!

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  1. Hi Louel, thank you so much for leaving feedback. I am so glad Zane’s application is helpful to you. I’ll share with him!!! And the workplace is an excellent place to use the concept!!! So glad you shared this!!! Blessings to you!!

  2. Thank you, Zane and Jamie, for introducing a helpful strategy with so many real-world applications. I plan to use the chair visualization strategy to help me better cope with challenging workplace situations. Again, thanks so much for the excellent information!

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