“The Soul Mate” Excuse For Infidelity: Debunking The Myth



It happens all the time. A husband or wife drops the bombshell, “I’m leaving; there is someone else.”  Or, he or she gets “caught” in an affair before declaring love for a newfound “soul mate.” We saw the latter scenario play out on national television years ago when a sniffling South Carolina Governor laced his “apology” for infidelity with a declaration of love for his “soul mate.”

One of the most challenging scenarios in marriage ministry is trying to reason with someone involved in the beginning stages of an affair, as he or she is most likely acting against all spiritual, relational, and logical principles that he or she once valued. Attempting to reason with such a person~whether with scripture, common sense, or emotional appeal~will most likely fail

Joe Beam’s many years of research and counseling with crisis marriages has given him great insight into what is happening in the minds of those who throw all sense aside when caught up in the drama of an affair. The phenomenon is called limerance, and an understanding of limerance helps those on the outside looking in to better understand the irrational and destructive behavior of someone caught up in an affair.

To learn about limerance and the course it typically takes in a lime rant spouse,  read Joe’s article, Do I Have A Soul Mate? For more on Joe Beam and his marriage resources, visit Marriage Helper 911. The marriage resources and crisis workshops offered through this ministry are second to none. Zane and I have personally been blessed by this ministry and feel that it is one of the best marriage resources available.


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