Being involved in marriage ministry, my husband and I often see couples who are stuck in miserable patterns of dysfunction and abuse. I am adamant about telling my single friends to be WISE and DISCERNING when considering any opposite sex relationship. Being in love with the idea of marriage, or a wedding, or a ring, should be replaced with a serious and prayerful caution about what to look for in a future mate. As Zane and I tell our girls often, few decisions will determine a person’s happiness (or misery) in life more than the choice of whom to marry.
Being able to see warning signs and walk away BEFORE marriage is far preferable to making a bad decision and having to deal with it the rest of your life. We have seen husbands and wives trapped in miserable situations because, frankly, they didn’t choose carefully. They rushed into marriage. They thought the person would “change” after marriage or that things would get better “when kids come along.” The reality is that a potential spouse will probably be on his or her best behavior before marriage. Anything unhealthy will likely only get worse. Because of this, I am unapologetic about warning my single friends to run–not walk–from anyone who is not treating them well and who demonstrates any kind of unhealthy relational patterns.
Zane and I read many of the wonderful articles by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn, and the following list is her original material. She has a wealth of resources on marriage, parenting and other relationships. To visit her wonderful blog, go to www.Dr.Deb.com. Continue reading
