As 2017 begins, here are 10 reasons to work on your marriage, along with one of my favorite resource for marriages in need of intensive help.
Popular culture suggests that as soon as something in our marriage goes wrong and our spouse doesn’t measure up to our expectations, we might have married “the wrong person.” We forget our spouse’s wonderful qualities that caused us to marry him or her in the first place, and we begin focusing on his or her weaknesses and imperfections. Suddenly, the spouse that we promised to love, honor and respect “til death do us part” seems a thorn in our side that needs to be removed.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If we can remember why we married our spouse in the first place, and focus on the good qualities rather than the bad, our marriage can get back on track. Waiting and hoping that problems will work themselves out is unrealistic. Marriage takes work; however, it is definitely worth it. So here are some motivators to remember why marriage should be a priority.
10 Reasons to Work on Your Marriage
1. Love is unconditional. It is not a feeling; it is a choice. Make the choice today to love your spouse unconditionally. Look for his or her qualities that are easy to love, and focus on those.
2. Divorce is not the answer. Although there are biblical exceptions, divorce is not usually the answer. A person who gets divorced is 50% more likely to get divorced a 2nd time, and then 75% more likely to get divorced a 3rd time. Seeking help and working to make your first marriage work is almost always the best option.
3. Children. If you have children, this is a huge motivator to work on your marriage. Children are affected the most by divorce. If you can’t find it in your heart to love your spouse enough at this moment to stick it out, then love your children enough to do the hard work until things hopefully get better.
4. Personal growth. Working through difficult times will help you grow as an individual and as a couple. Moving through the seasons of life and sticking it out through the hard times pays off in the end. “Old love” is a good place to be with a spouse, but it isn’t always an easy road getting there.
5. No guarantees. There are no guarantees that if you divorce this person you will be happier or better off. You will likely never find someone that who will be all that you want them to be. Why not put your effort into this person rather than starting over with a new one?
6. Commitment. You made a promise to love, honor and cherish this person. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. As long as you both shall live. Remember that promise when you want to throw in the towel.
7. Finances. Although finances may be the reason you are considering ending your marriage, divorce is not the answer. Not only is it more difficult to support your family with one income, but walking away from a problem is never the solution. There are far more financial headaches from divorce than from working things out. There are myriad financial help small groups and advisors who can help couples get back on good financial footing. Seek them out.
8. God. If you are a person of faith, especially a Christian, marriage is a sacred covenant. God gives great weight to marriage. It is His idea, His design, and His purpose. We honor Him by working through the hard times to keep the covenant made with our spouse. and before God.
9. Joy. You will have great joy in finding a way to work through problems and find solutions together that take you back to the reasons you got married in the first place.
10. Perspective. Problems that seem insurmountable now will one day seem much smaller. When emotions are high and the road is rocky, it is sometimes hard to see clearly, and many just look for a way out. Having others run alongside you and cheer you on as a couple can help. Then one day, you can look back and be thankful that you stuck it out.
“True love” isn’t something that you fall in and out of. True love is something that you build over time. You build it a brick at a time by sacrifice, selflessness and love. You allow the trials and tribulations to be your mortar rather than your wrecking ball.
Don’t be hasty in opting for a divorce. If you are still together in the same house, stay that way. A separation will usually do more harm than good. Rather than focus on what the other person has done wrong, take a deeper look at yourself and the areas you need to improve. Get counseling, go to a self-improvement workshop, take a financial peace class…whatever it takes. Be willing to fight for the most important person that will ever be in your life.
If you are in a marriage that is in need of help, I highly recommend a weekend seminar led by one of the most respected marriage and relationship experts, Joe Beam. For the upcoming schedule of seminars for 2017, click here on marriagehelper911. My husband and I have been to this seminar and cannot recommend it highly enough. We love it so much, we are actually considering attending on of the first ones of the year just to start off 2017 on the best possible footing.
If you have questions about the seminar, feel free to email me or contact a representative at marriagehelper.com. All counsel is biblically based, practical, and in most cases, transformational in saving even the most troubled marriages.
I wish you and yours a joyous and blessed 2017. As always, thanks so much for stopping by. Be blessed, and stay savvy!!!